Surreality

(This was written before the previous post. Or was it after?)

Imagine yourself in my shoes. Theres a stinking cat big as 3 oxes and made of metal sitting no further than you are to a bathroom (there is always a bathroom near the internet). Two German girls gigle about the police, who arrived on their bikes, interrogated us, and left us alone with the hash, still waiting to be lit up. (Both the girls and the hash, intentionally ambiguous). They laugh and pee and laugh at peeing and a truck pulls up. Not far from this gigantic cat with gigantic testicles, a man begins unloading full-sized, frozen, skinned lambs. The German girls scream and gigle and we talk about evolution as a "theory." Meanwhile, ther eare scientists just a few countries over trying to recreate the big bang which has a chance..(What was that? I think I just heard a bomb go off. But the sun is hot and the water calm. And I dont hear anyone screaming bloody murder) just a chance, no larger than the distance between you and your computer screen, of destroying the galaxy. But at 5 am in Barcelona, with chapped feet and hash, no one much cares for authority, cops or scientists.

Then a day passed. Maybe two. Time barely exists at Mambo Tango, unless they are feeding you tuna fish, rice, and mayo (shit, did I travel across the world to eat what was in my living room every week?). I had (or is it have? the past tense and present tense are becoming apocalyptically interchangeable) to catchmy ferry to Italy. I check the onine map, it said that I should catch my ferry at Plaza de Catalunya. But thats in the middle of the city! No water nearby! I should've known that this will be an exciting experience. Fuck it, I'm in Barcelona. I will go ot the middle of the city (Im beginning to see the future in terms of the past and present now) But I soon found the internet had whispered a little lie in my ear, and that Boats, even in Barcelona, take off from the water. (Theres some sort of miniature carnival next to what looks like a bombed out building near theneverending horizon of the Meditteranean).

This boat is gigantic. It is a glacier. On board I'm seated next to a Canadian, who I briefly met waiting for the boat, and behind us is a New Yorker. Everyone else, I think, is from Italy or Spain. Who's smart idea was this? Or, out of some randomly computer-generated seating programs, did some unpredictable design come about? Right before the world ends, I'll ask those scientists. I just have to know. We go exploring the boat, which, by the way, is the cheapest way to get from Spain to Italy. We find a Spa. We find a Casino, where an Italian man puts hcip after chip on the roulette table only to have them all taken by the blonde Romanian in the scandalous dress. We find the store and the five bars and the swimming pool and finally, the lounge, where a man sings what should be karaoke but is not, and old Italian men & women slow dance, then request a group dance, and begin line dancing to bad midi-style Italianized country music. All of this is happening in the middle of the sea, nowhere near another human being, on the cheapest form of transportation from Spain to Italy.

After some more exploring we find ourselves in the crew's quarters. We steal some fruit and bread and almost get caught. But we're in international waters. The only authority here is the water. and the fact that they could throw us overboard and probably get away with it. (I've been on land for an hour and a half now and still I sway with the sea). After the crews quarters we break into the kitchen, see slabs of meat that once came from full-sized, frozen, skinless animals (But we are in the middle of nowhere, and I would die this moment if a gigantic, big-balled, metal cat showed up). I'm realizing just how fucked up it is that we're in the kitchen, with all the food (forget the kitchen, we went down to the engine room!) and maybe it's because of Chuck Palahniuk or maybe its anarchy taking control of my mind, but I'm thinking about all the fucked up things I could do to people's food in the middle of the night on a boat in the middle of nowhere. And in the cabin, they've got cameras. Where everybody's food comes from, not a single one.

After this (No, Before) we are "dancing" in the "disco" while the guy flips through his book of latin music and lands on Guns N Roses, and we sing along with "Dont Cry" and drink the brandy & beer we smuggled on board. Then (and this is after our kitchen adventure) we smoke hash and play guitar and sing country songs in the middle of the night in the middle of the meditteranean. Then we capped the night with "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley, where we forgot verses but were 90% correct, and I'm thinking about how he dried of drowning. I go to sleep with Neko Case on repeat and dream of....something.

And now, I am in Italy, waiting to catch my train to Naples. If the universe explodes right now, at least I'm looking out to what appears to be an infinite horizon of sea. And at least I sang "Hallelujah." And at least there isn't a gigantic weird cat with testicles as big as 2 of your heads just a short distance from me.

Top Songs
1. Jeff Buckely - Hallelujah
2. Neko Case - Dirty Knife
3. Band of Horses - Part One
4. The Knife - Got 2 let u
5. Arcade Fire - Windowsill